Life Coaching The Work™ of Byron Katie

— Stretch your mind — Using the work of Byron Katie

November 4

Hi come join me for two days 12th & 13th Nov. 2011. Focusing on TheWork.  Stretch your mind, come out of the I am right into space and freedom and living a kinder more loving life. At the East West Center in Antwerp. See below for more information. Love Sagar

 

— Stretch your mind — Using the work of Byron Katie

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The Past is only a Possibility: According to Hawking and Mlodinow

March 29

infinite possibilities

Investigate you thing as suggested by the work of Byron Katie will leaves you with infinite possibilities, to live you life  kinder, loving, creative and  harmonious.

According to Hawking and Mlodinow, one consequence of the theory of quantum mechanics is that events in the past that were not directly observed did not happen in a definite way. Instead they happened in all possible ways. This is related to the probabilistic nature of matter and energy revealed by quantum mechanics: Unless forced to choose a particular state by direct interference from an outside observation, things will hover in a state of uncertainty.

For example, if all we know is that a particle traveled from point A to point B, then it is not true that the particle took a definite path and we just don’t know what it is. Rather, that particle simultaneously took every possible path connecting the two points.

Yeah, we’re still trying to wrap our brains around this.

The authors sum up: “No matter how thorough our observation of the present, the (unobserved) past, like the future, is indefinite and exists only as a spectrum of possibilities.”

Article from live science by Clara Moskow

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Love is Just a four Letter word

March 24

I have heard Byron Katie say “no story no world”. So what is your story creating your world?

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Unlimited thinking WD 40

February 19

Becoming Unstuck from everything

What is WD 40? It’d s spray oil we use it on almost everything which is stuck and needs to be freed from it’s rust or water damaged.

“It took them 40 attempts to get the water displacing formula worked out. WD-40®—which stands for Water Displacement and perfected on the 40th try—is still in use today.” and un-sticking all sorts of things.

So what is the point of talking about WD 40?

  1. I happen use on my bicycle chain and used lots of on my motorcycle and old VW Beetle.
  2. It took 40 tries to get it working. The only thing they knew that there is a way out of being stuck and rusted and things need to be moving again.
  3. Where is your focus. Wayne Dyer has talked about fly was not done by focusing on not flying and get iron ships to float was not done by focusing on the sinking of things. focus on getting things moving.
  4. If you can identify, the thoughts that keep you from having peace, clarity, joy and a wonderful life. You are in the beginning of the process of getting unstuck. Focusing on what is not working in your life, will give you more of what does not work and then becomes the proof that life is stuck and sucks. (And there is a book called why your life sucks by Alan h. Cohen worth reading).

Now back to WD 40 and the work of Byron Katie.

Using the JudgeYourNeighborworksheet down loadable at http://www.thework.com/dothework.php is the first step to identify your thoughts that are keeping you stuck (rusting and not moving). Then we apply the WD 40 that is the 4 questions and the turnarounds: http://www.thework.com/dothework.php to the thoughts that are keeping you stuck. And it could take 40 times or 1 time or 100 times to become unstuck.  Just think of it if the Wright brothers gave up after their first attempt. We would still be sitting on the ground wondering if we could fly? And just like in the case of developing WD 40 you never know when you suddenly become free or fly.

Applying the 4 questions and turnarounds to your stuck thoughts and then suddenly you are unstuck and free to fly. Love you Sagar give me a call to become unstuck.

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    Ever try to fix someone?

    September 27

    If you ever feel motivated to fix someone, here is a word of advice: Nothing is more annoying to you than someone who tries to change you or coerce you to their way of thinking. Ultimately you become only more defiant. Why would you expect someone else to respond otherwise? No one wants to be fixed. They just want to be loved. No one wants to be labeled. They just want to be appreciated. No one wants to be seen as defective. They just want to be whole. When you appreciate people for who they are, you create an ideal environment for them to grow. When you focus on their positive qualities and emphasize their talents, they will feel so accepted and empowered that their dysfunctions will have no reinforcement, and melt away naturally. Advice, pressure, and punishment do not heal. The great healer is love.

    Trying to fix others is a long, frustrating, and ultimately losing battle. You will never succeed because you began with three false premises: 1) There is something wrong with them; 2) You know what their problem is and how they should be living instead; and 3) You have the right and power to choose for them or to force them to make the choices you think they should make.

    It seems easier to try to change others than to face your­self. Yet it is not your purpose to repair another person. Your purpose is to wake up. You need not fix yourself because you are not broken, and you need not fix others because they are not broken. rather than try to change them, upgrade your vision.

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    staying in thework and doing the work

    August 25

    This example of the work, show that the work works only when you do the work. You can think about it, you can understand what the work is. However if you do not use it; apply it and live it your, life does not change. And it show thework lived is an on going process of questioning your long heald beliefs.

    The recording might not be for everyone. It requires that you listen with an open mind. And let it in.

    1-03 Day 3 – I Am In Debilitating Pain copy

    This recording for me shows the courageousness of this women and her willingness to put what is happening out there.

    Katie is clear loving and to the point. The work works when you question the mind. And it might take 3 days, 3 weeks, 3 months; it’s your and my freedom we are talking about.

    The recording is taken from The New Years Cleanse that Katie leads in LA. It takes place over 4 days and Katie does the work with participants from 10 – 5 each day.

    Some one in the cleanse said I was told to get ready for the ride and I thought I know what that meant…and I was not prepared for what a ride it is. It is a wonderful way to end the year and to give your self a present. Enjoy the ride of this recording. This recording is the property of Byron Katie, Inc.

    You can find out more information about the cleanse @

    http://www.thework.com/events.php?eid=24#24

    And more information about me and how I work with individual clients and business @

    http://changeyourmindchangeyourlife.org/coaching-the-work-of-byron-katie/

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    ‘You’ve got to find what you love,’ Steve Jobs says

    August 3

    This is something from Steve Jobs. a talk he gave a Stanford Univeristy.

    I enjoyed reading it. It reminds me to be present to look at what i have and when i move out of where i am to come back to the power is in the present moment. and we (I) forget i have “thework of Byron Katie” to remind me. I found this inspiring and to trigger your thinking.

    Stanford Report, June 14, 2005

    ‘You’ve got to find what you love,’ Jobs says

    This is the text of the Commencement address by Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple Computer and of Pixar Animation Studios, delivered on June 12, 2005.

    I am honored to be with you today at your commencement from one of the finest universities in the world. I never graduated from college. Truth be told, this is the closest I’ve ever gotten to a college graduation. Today I want to tell you three stories from my life. That’s it. No big deal. Just three stories.

    The first story is about connecting the dots.

    I dropped out of Reed College after the first 6 months, but then stayed around as a drop-in for another 18 months or so before I really quit. So why did I drop out?

    It started before I was born. My biological mother was a young, unwed college graduate student, and she decided to put me up for adoption. She felt very strongly that I should be adopted by college graduates, so everything was all set for me to be adopted at birth by a lawyer and his wife. Except that when I popped out they decided at the last minute that they really wanted a girl. So my parents, who were on a waiting list, got a call in the middle of the night asking: “We have an unexpected baby boy; do you want him?” They said: “Of course.” My biological mother later found out that my mother had never graduated from college and that my father had never graduated from high school. She refused to sign the final adoption papers. She only relented a few months later when my parents promised that I would someday go to college.

    And 17 years later I did go to college. But I naively chose a college that was almost as expensive as Stanford, and all of my working-class parents’ savings were being spent on my college tuition. After six months, I couldn’t see the value in it. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and no idea how college was going to help me figure it out. And here I was spending all of the money my parents had saved their entire life. So I decided to drop out and trust that it would all work out OK. It was pretty scary at the time, but looking back it was one of the best decisions I ever made. The minute I dropped out I could stop taking the required classes that didn’t interest me, and begin dropping in on the ones that looked interesting.

    It wasn’t all romantic. I didn’t have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in friends’ rooms, I returned coke bottles for the 5¢ deposits to buy food with, and I would walk the 7 miles across town every Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple. I loved it. And much of what I stumbled into by following my curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceless later on. Let me give you one example:

    Reed College at that time offered perhaps the best calligraphy instruction in the country. Throughout the campus every poster, every label on every drawer, was beautifully hand calligraphed. Because I had dropped out and didn’t have to take the normal classes, I decided to take a calligraphy class to learn how to do this. I learned about serif and san serif typefaces, about varying the amount of space between different letter combinations, about what makes great typography great. It was beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in a way that science can’t capture, and I found it fascinating.

    None of this had even a hope of any practical application in my life. But ten years later, when we were designing the first Macintosh computer, it all came back to me. And we designed it all into the Mac. It was the first computer with beautiful typography. If I had never dropped in on that single course in college, the Mac would have never had multiple typefaces or proportionally spaced fonts. And since Windows just copied the Mac, its likely that no personal computer would have them. If I had never dropped out, I would have never dropped in on this calligraphy class, and personal computers might not have the wonderful typography that they do. Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later.

    Again, you can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something – your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.

    My second story is about love and loss.

    I was lucky – I found what I loved to do early in life. Woz and I started Apple in my parents garage when I was 20. We worked hard, and in 10 years Apple had grown from just the two of us in a garage into a $2 billion company with over 4000 employees. We had just released our finest creation – the Macintosh – a year earlier, and I had just turned 30. And then I got fired. How can you get fired from a company you started? Well, as Apple grew we hired someone who I thought was very talented to run the company with me, and for the first year or so things went well. But then our visions of the future began to diverge and eventually we had a falling out. When we did, our Board of Directors sided with him. So at 30 I was out. And very publicly out. What had been the focus of my entire adult life was gone, and it was devastating.

    I really didn’t know what to do for a few months. I felt that I had let the previous generation of entrepreneurs down – that I had dropped the baton as it was being passed to me. I met with David Packard and Bob Noyce and tried to apologize for screwing up so badly. I was a very public failure, and I even thought about running away from the valley. But something slowly began to dawn on me – I still loved what I did. The turn of events at Apple had not changed that one bit. I had been rejected, but I was still in love. And so I decided to start over.

    I didn’t see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life.

    During the next five years, I started a company named NeXT, another company named Pixar, and fell in love with an amazing woman who would become my wife. Pixar went on to create the worlds first computer animated feature film, Toy Story, and is now the most successful animation studio in the world. In a remarkable turn of events, Apple bought NeXT, I retuned to Apple, and the technology we developed at NeXT is at the heart of Apple’s current renaissance. And Laurene and I have a wonderful family together.

    I’m pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn’t been fired from Apple. It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it. Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don’t lose faith. I’m convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You’ve got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don’t settle.

    My third story is about death.

    When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: “If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you’ll most certainly be right.” It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: “If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?” And whenever the answer has been “No” for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.

    Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything – all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure – these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.

    About a year ago I was diagnosed with cancer. I had a scan at 7:30 in the morning, and it clearly showed a tumor on my pancreas. I didn’t even know what a pancreas was. The doctors told me this was almost certainly a type of cancer that is incurable, and that I should expect to live no longer than three to six months. My doctor advised me to go home and get my affairs in order, which is doctor’s code for prepare to die. It means to try to tell your kids everything you thought you’d have the next 10 years to tell them in just a few months. It means to make sure everything is buttoned up so that it will be as easy as possible for your family. It means to say your goodbyes.

    I lived with that diagnosis all day. Later that evening I had a biopsy, where they stuck an endoscope down my throat, through my stomach and into my intestines, put a needle into my pancreas and got a few cells from the tumor. I was sedated, but my wife, who was there, told me that when they viewed the cells under a microscope the doctors started crying because it turned out to be a very rare form of pancreatic cancer that is curable with surgery. I had the surgery and I’m fine now.

    This was the closest I’ve been to facing death, and I hope its the closest I get for a few more decades. Having lived through it, I can now say this to you with a bit more certainty than when death was a useful but purely intellectual concept:

    No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don’t want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life’s change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.

    Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of other’s opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

    When I was young, there was an amazing publication called The Whole Earth Catalog, which was one of the bibles of my generation. It was created by a fellow named Stewart Brand not far from here in Menlo Park, and he brought it to life with his poetic touch. This was in the late 1960′s, before personal computers and desktop publishing, so it was all made with typewriters, scissors, and polaroid cameras. It was sort of like Google in paperback form, 35 years before Google came along: it was idealistic, and overflowing with neat tools and great notions.

    Stewart and his team put out several issues of The Whole Earth Catalog, and then when it had run its course, they put out a final issue. It was the mid-1970s, and I was your age. On the back cover of their final issue was a photograph of an early morning country road, the kind you might find yourself hitchhiking on if you were so adventurous. Beneath it were the words: “Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.” It was their farewell message as they signed off. Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. And I have always wished that for myself. And now, as you graduate to begin anew, I wish that for you.

    Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.

    Thank you all very much.

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    Sagar Simon:

    People_SolutionsSagar is a trained Gestalt therapist, Hypnotherapist, Certified Facilitator of “The Work™ of Byron Katie” and a Masters in Science of Guidance and Counseling. Sagar has been working with individuals and leading groups and workshops in the private sector and the corporate world internationally for over 25 years. He has staffed many courses and workshops given by Byron Katie.

    Sagar is now based in Amsterdam with his private practice “People-Solutions” and is dedicated to the human experience through self-exploration and personal growth. He inspires people and companies to move in new directions.

    The Work™ of Byron Katie

    Sagar is a Certified Facilitator of “The Work™ of Byron Katie