The Relationship Transformation Workshop: 29 May 2016

katie quote relationship 5 reduced



Location: The American Book Center Treehouse : Voetboogstraat 11 1012 XK Amsterdam

Info and Registration:

Description: ‘I Need Your Love, Approval and Appreciation – Is That True?’

The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven..” (John Milton – Paradise Lost)

Many people look for a relationship, hoping it will be heaven, only to find out it can be hell! In the words of Byron Katie: “Everyone agrees that love is wonderful, except when it’s terrible…” So what role does our mind play in creating a loving and lasting bond with someone and how can we leave our self-sabotaging thoughts and behaviors behind?

In this 2-day workshop led by ABC’s Spiritual Book Club members Richard Kwakernaak and Sagar Simon, the subject of relationships will be approached from various viewpoints, elaborating specifically on the fields of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), Mindfulness and The Work of Byron Katie. This event is an opportunity to thoroughly investigate what you feel, believe and desire about relationships, without necessarily being consciously aware of it now. It serves to provide a space and time for finding inner peace and clarity, in support of living a joyful life. The workshop will be fun, revealing and leave you with tools you can instantly use when noticing stress.

Hosts: Richard Kwakernaak (communication trainer and coach) and Sagar Simon (MD in Counseling, Gestalt Therapist and Hypnotherapist)

Start Date: Date has changee stay tune to this page for our new date in July

Start Time: 10:00

End Date: 

End Time: 


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— Stretch your mind — Using the work of Byron Katie

Hi come join me for two days 12th & 13th Nov. 2011. Focusing on TheWork.  Stretch your mind, come out of the I am right into space and freedom and living a kinder more loving life. At the East West Center in Antwerp. See below for more information. Love Sagar


— Stretch your mind — Using the work of Byron Katie

Byron Katie Event Amsterdam

For those of you who missed this event. Well, that was for me wonderful learning and good to be in the atmosphere of the work. The most important thing for me was to hear and see Katie helping people stay in the work and not to leave the work for their story.

What is the work it is IQ. Investigate (the inquiry)  the thoughts that you are believing that cause you suffering. And Question them using the 4 question that are the work. Katie calls The Work the  4 questions the mechanics for coming out of pain and suffer and dis-pare.

You can down load all that you need to get started straight away doing the work on a painful reoccurring thoughts. Just click on the link below from the resource page.

The resources are free. And if want to experience the work immediately you can call the help at no charge and an experienced facilitator who is part of the institute for the work will do the work with you. You can also contact a certified facilitator to work with in your area or over Skype. This is the link:

You can also find a certified facilitator to work with. It not necessary and when the mind is stuck it can help move you.

You can find my information on and on my contact details.

On Relationships

What is the most important aspect of a good relationship?

• Harmony?
• Understanding each other?
• Working together?
• Being in one line?
• Cooperating?

The reality is none of theses make for a good relationship.

The only thing, can that affect the quality of your relationship is, the one you are having with yourself…everything else is the effect of that relationship on relationship.

The ability to stay in your own business, to see what is true for you, and to be honest with yourself…and leave others alone…Gives you what you really want (a kind, loving life). Staying in you own business see what is really true for you, and being honest with yourself. That is the real challenge. Not getting the other to be different then they are, that is hopeless…

From: The 7 habits of highly effective people by Stephen R. Covey.

We began to realize that if we wanted to change the situation, we first had to change ourselves. And to change ourselves effectively, we first had to change our perceptions.
If you have the right map of Chicago, then diligence becomes important, and when you encounter frustrating obstacles along the way, then attitude can make a real difference. But the first and most important requirement is the accuracy of the map.
Each of us has many, many maps in our head, which can be divided into two main categories: maps of the way things are, or realities, and maps of the way things should be, or values. We interpret everything we experience through these mental maps. We seldom question their accuracy; we’re usually even unaware that we have them. We simply assume that the way we see things is the way they really are or the way they should be.
And our attitudes and behaviors grow out of those assumptions. The way we see things is the source of the way we think and the way we act.
The more aware we are of our basic paradigms, maps, or assumptions, and the extent to which we have been influenced b by our experience, the more we can take responsibility for those paradigms, examine them, test them against reality, listen to others and be open to their perceptions, thereby getting a large picture and a far more objective view.
Each of us tends to think we see things, as they are, that we are objective. But this is not the case. We see the world, not as it is, but as we are–or, as we are conditioned to see it. When we open our mouths to describe what we see, we in effect describe our perceptions, our paradigms, and ourselves. When other people disagree with us, we immediately think something is wrong with them. But, the demonstration shows, sincere, clearheaded people see thing differently, each looking through the unique lens of experience.’

The expectation that the other should respect, understand and even know what you mean or want is an illusion…a painful and frustrating illusion.

If you truly want to come out of suffering, come out of pain, out of conflict and live in really intimacy…come back home to your self. Because, there is only one place all of that suffering occurs and that is within you…(who is experiencing your pain? you are!)

You cannot change the other, your partner, your child, your boss, your family…so who is there left to change the person closest to you, you!

How do you do that?

The best way, I know is to investing what your are thinking in the moment. Question your thoughts, put them on paper (Judge Your Neighbor Worksheet from Byron Katie. Once questioned and seen. Your internal world changes, everything changes…Nothing is the same because you are not the same, you can not believe what you think any more, you can not believe what you have been believing.

How do you do that?

How do you come away from what you believe your painful story? There are four amazing, wonderful provoking, questions from the work of Byron Katie, to ask your self:

The 4 questions and the turnaround are:

1. Is it true?
2. Can you absolutely know that it’s true?
3. How do react when you believe that thought?
What happens?
4. Who would you be without the thought?
Turn that thought around.
Find three genuine examples of this turnaround that are as true or truer then the ordinal statement.

On the surface theses question seem too simplistic to easy.

“Is it really possible that something can change from such simple questions?” If you answer these questions from the core of your being, from the heart, that means, going in and wait for the answer to appear, see what the answer really is, then it all changes.

My partner should understand me simply become come not true.

I should understand my partner become truer.

I should understand myself becomes ever truer.

My partner should not understand me also become truer.

These turn arounds at the end of the 4 questions is very liberating.

Gone is the pressure to have them different then they are…

Gone is the pressure to make them something they are not.

Come experience the power of the work…for yourself.

You come to understand you are the one to make the relationship be what it is or isn’t.

What is teamwork, when each person understands it’s in his or her high-test interest to live a harmonizes, caring, loving life. And it has nothing to do with the other…

It does not mean there will not be drama and misunderstanding and regressions, it does mean you with have the skill and the tool, to return to your self and be at peace with what is.

Call me: +31646265421

If you like to have an amazing experience of the work…

If you would like to learn the work of Byron Katie

Check her out on:

“We are the innocent cause of our own suffering” BK

Love sharing this with you.